shakey beginnings

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             What comes to mind when you see that image above there? What was the first thing that popped into your head? Was it a pleasant thought or was it pretty nasty? When I look at that drawing, it is a constant reminder to myself that I am beautifully and wonderfully made. Maybe not everyone who is reading this is a person that believes in a Higher Power–that is alright because I am not here to judge and go preach on someone’s personal religious practices or lack thereof. I am simply here to share some of my own personal experiences in life and maybe along the way there will be someone that this will benefit in some ways.

I had always wanted to create a blog for years and only now had the courage to go for it because someone I recently met helped me realize that, we are only given the opportunities that we grab hold of to make something of ourselves. Maybe this is a perfect time in my life where I crave a way to let out the emotions and feelings I have inside. Maybe just for a moment I felt like being the one to let my voice be heard instead of being the constant listener; always having to zip up my lips and remain in the shadowy silence. Maybe you all will think something of me and/or have your own opinions about the things I choose to share on here, but that is all it is–opinions. Because at the end of the day, my struggles are my struggles and my growth is my growth and no one is able to take that away from me.
At the moment it is three a.m. and my head is roaring with pain on all sides of my forehead as my eyes beg to be relieved from the brightness of my laptop. But typical me, once I start something I have to see it through the whole way or it’s not much of a success. An hour ago my mother stopped nagging me to go to sleep when she remembered how stubborn her daughter was and all attempts would be futile at this point. You gotta love Caribbean parents–even when you are way passed the age of eighteen they still treat you as if you were just learning how to be potty trained. But I wouldn’t change my mother for all the money in the world because life would not be as entertaining and fulfilling otherwise, but I digress. I have always asked myself questions about what my greater purpose was and even about my big bang that would land me in the TIME magazine’s  Top 100 most influential people like Malala Yousafzai, Oprah Winfrey, Michelle Obama, etc– who fought and stood up for what they believed in. They never not once let the fire that they were being thrown at scorch their fighting spirits into ash. Instead they rose to the challenge and met each hurdle head on–that is what I crave for myself. That inner passion that once used to consume my very insides until my whole body felt as if it were burning alive. Maybe as I go through this journey with all of you, I will find my own firewood that will spark up in flames.

This is me–raw, exposed and unafraid. I am unapolegitically black and proud.

 

 

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